31 Days of Halloween: The Witch

mv5bmty4mtu2njmynv5bml5banbnxkftztgwmzuwmdk4nze-_v1_uy1200_cr9006301200_al_I’ll get to the point–this movie is awesome, and you should immediately stop reading this and go watch it. The movie is best with a virgin experience, so don’t let me ruin it for you. Now, for the review.

I enjoy modern horror as much as the next guy, but a lot of times these days, the filmmakers take themselves so seriously that they ruin it. I’m all for art, but every now and then, I don’t want the whole thing to just be a metaphor. I want a freaking monster, an actual bad guy. I don’t want it to all be in the main character’s head. I want it to be real. On this point, The Witch delivers.

And why does it deliver? Because yes Virginia, there’s an actual devil worshiping, baby-killing, goat-milk-turned-to-blooding witch in this movie.

Short synopsis: Puritan family is too puritan for the Puritans, and leaves the safety and security of the colony for the wilds. At first, everything is awesome, everything is cool, yadda yadda yadda. But then, the baby disappears, the corn goes bad, and the goats start squirting blood. As things go from bad to very bad, suspicion begins to fall on the eldest daughter of the family. After all, she’s starting to, ahem, develop, so of course, the devil has his eye on her.

This movie is freaking gorgeous. And the music. Not since Susperia has a movie so effectively used sound to capture the imagination and keep you on edge. And the ending. I loved it. Just loved it.

Now, if you leave the friendly confines of this page, you’re going to find people hating on this movie. It became the cool thing to do not to like it. But that’s OK. It takes all kinds to make the  world go round, even those with bad taste. My advice? Ignore them and go see this movie. You won’t regret it. Or maybe…you will.

5 Stars

One last thing. If I could change anything about this movie, it would be this: I wouldn’t show the witches at all until the very end. I’d let you think this is one of those meta-modern BS anti-religious screeds where there are no witches blah blah blah and then BOOM, witches.

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